Scientists say your butt alone doesn't make you attractive

Your shapely derriere alone isn't what makes you attractive, or so suggests a new study. "Most previous work on attractiveness focused on the effect of isolated features," explains Canada's Queen's University professor Nikolaus Troje.

As he and two German researchers explain in a study published in Evolution & Human Behavior, "evolutionary psychology states that sexual attractiveness has evolved to assess the reproductive qualities of a potential mate"—and as such, past studies have looked at individual traits that have ties to things like fertility.

In their study, the researchers set out with the hypothesis that attractiveness doesn't just stem from those parts but from "the consistency of the whole appearance." A press release explains the set-up: Participants viewed "schematic point-light displays that depict a person using 15 moving dots." The dots gave participants a sense of both the person's body shape and their movements; that allowed the researchers to grade both the most attractive shapes and movement styles.

They then made super-attractive hybrids by pairing the most attractive in both buckets. But participants found the hybrid walkers to be less attractive than the two individual walkers who made up the hybrid, Troje explains in a blog post.

"We found that attractiveness depends on internal consistency—whether the movement and the shape match each other or not." If they don't, our visual system will respond negatively.

One practical application of the results: "to formulate advice to people who are working on improving their own appearance," says Troje, who observes that what makes someone else good-looking may not work for you.

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Netizens slam organization for posting picture of woman breast-feeding child on subway

A picture of a woman breast-feeding her child while traveling on the Beijing subway posted by a weibo user and shared by a non-profit organization on Friday has sparked a controversy online.

The organization shared the image along with the following text: “Don’t bare sexual organs in a public place.” The post added that by doing so the woman was treating the subway as a “local bus in a village.”

Within a matter of a few hours, the post went viral, with many netizens hitting out at the organization.

Shishusi said, “posting the picture is essentially invading her privacy and inhuman. Since it is not easy to set up nursing rooms in public places quickly, I think if we encounter such a situation, we should just not look and bless people quietly.”

Wangzhian argued that “while setting up nursing rooms along the subway system might be impractical, it is possible to reserve female-only carriages on trains. Mothers with infants could take these special carriages, and besides, it could also help reduce sexual harassment on the subway.”

Under fire from netizens, the organization deleted the post and issued an apology saying that, “the initial purpose was to create a discussion on the issue and not to place blame.” Later the organization said that they were temporarily closing and cancelling the account.

However, the apology hasn’t stopped the torrent of criticism that the organization is facing online.

A weibo user named Ou Qian, who identifies herself as a doctor and a mother, argued that, “It’s better to wear a nursing bra, but don’t worry, breasts are child’s granary and not a sexual organ. What’s wrong with the Beijing subway? An Argentinean senator even breast-fed her child in parliament.”

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Tips for getting him to want more sex

(Foxnews):This old refrain makes us think of tired wives across the country turning down their desperate husbands for the hundredth time.

However, the reality is that women aren’t the only ones who suffer from low libido and lack of sexual interest. Men also suffer from low desire. And when they do, it can be incredibly complicated and challenging for couples to face. Many women feel ashamed and angry that their spouses are turning down their sexual advances. After all, men are supposed to want sex all the time. 

It’s easy to see how harmful gender messaging about sexuality can be, both for men and for women. Men feel overwhelmed that they aren’t in the mood like they are “supposed” to be, and women feel suspicious and insecure that their partners don’t want them anymore. They wonder: Is he cheating? Is it because I gained weight? Is he not attracted to me?

The reality is often much less insidious. Like women, men encounter low libido for a number of reasons, both physical and emotional. Perhaps he is suffering from a hormonal imbalance (men go through a “change of life” just like women do, when their testosterone levels dip), perhaps he is dealing with a chronic condition like diabetes, or perhaps he is simply too tired and stressed from dealing with work and his hectic schedule. All of this can do a number on a man’s desire, especially if his relationship is tense and unhappy on top of it.

Here are some things women can do to help boost their partner’s desire:

• Consider his medicine cabinet. Did he recently start a new medication such as anti-depressants that might be doing a number on his libido? Other drugs such as Propecia (a popular hair-loss prevention drug) can also lead to decreased desire. Beta-blockers and anti-anxiety meds can have similar unwanted effects. He might consider talking to his doctor to find out if they are options that will interfere less with his sexual function.

• Get exercising. Nothing is better for your physical health (or sexual health) than plenty of exercise. Take a long walk after dinner each night or join a intramural sports team together. Get active everyday and make healthy choices as a couple.

• Encourage him to see a medical doctor. If he isn’t interested in sex, it could be due to erectile dysfunction which can often be easily treated with medical intervention. Most men will avoid sex all together if they perceive any risk of poor sexual function and once performance improves, libido often follows. A doctor can also check his testosterone levels, which play a significant role in sexual function and interest and often drop as men age.

• Address stress. If stress from his job or other aspects of his life are bringing him down, he might really need some support. Encourage him to reach out for assistance, whether that’s from you, a friend or even from a therapist.  In fact, according to the research, the best prognosis for a man’s sexual dysfunction is when his partner is involved in the seeking of treatment.

• Talk about it. Don’t sweep the issue under the rug. If you want more sexual connection, you need to discuss it. Just make sure you do it in a way that is non-confrontational. Don’t accuse him or insult him (“I can think of a million men who would love to have sex with me!”) Instead, say, “I’ve noticed we aren’t having sex as much as we used to. I miss being with you and I love our sexual connection. What can I do to help bring back some of the passion and intimacy back to your lives?”

• Initiate sex. Don’t sit back and wait for him to make the first move. If you want more sex and romance, be the change you want to see in your relationship. Kiss him passionately when you leave for work in the morning, surprise him in the shower when he least expects it and be generous with compliments and positive feedback. If you make him feel sexy and desirable, he will automatically feel more in the mood as a result.

• Help him to make healthy choices. A big hearty dinner with a few glasses of wine might sound like a good way to end the day, but it could also leave you both too tired and full for sex. Eat light, nutritious meals, and limit your alcohol intake. Instead of zoning out in front of the couch, engage in some fun, heart-pounding (and libido-enhancing) date activities such as trying bungee-jumping or going to an amusement park. Push yourself outside of your comfort zone. The more you can get out of your rut outside the bedroom, the more you will get out of your rut inside the bedroom as well.

Lastly, just remember that it is not uncommon for people to experience times of low desire…whether they are a man or a woman. Just try to stay connected during this time and continue communicating, and you will survive with your relationship and your sexual pleasure intact.

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Is your number of sex partners 'normal'? 5 ways to check

It's a most personal subject: the number of people you've slept with. Here are five ways to see if your number of partners is "normal."

   1. Use Slate's new interactive calculator.
     It aims to tell you if the number of people you've slept with is "a lot." You plug in your age, gender, and the number of sex partners you've had since the age of 18, and, voila, you'll see where you "stack up" against the rest of the population.

    The questionnaire is short and sweet, letting people decide on their own what to define as a sexual encounter. Calculate your number here.

    2.Compare your college self to a Harvard student: As it does annually, the Harvard Crimson surveyed the school's graduating seniors, and found the following: 58% started their freshman year as a virgin; 21% had sex for the first time as a freshman, and 24% had no sex while at Harvard.

    As for the number of partners, 19% of men and 7% of women had 10 or more during their college career.

    3.Check out your generation's average: A recent study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior crunched 40 years of sexual data from more than 33,000 Americans.

    It projects that millennials—those born between 1982 and 1999—will have sex with about eight different partners in their lifetime, behind Gen Xers with 10, and baby boomers with 12.

    4.Consult the CDC: It's a little outdated, but its website shares data from the National Health Statistics Report published in 2012, including the "number of sexual partners in the past 12 months." The most recent range specified is 2006-2010.

    Men had an average of 3.9 to women's 1.8; partners with whom the respondent had vaginal, oral, or anal sex were counted.

    5.Look at this chart: The 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, which was conducted by Indiana University researchers, was self-described as "one of the most comprehensive" sex studies "in almost two decades." It looked at the sex habits of 5,865 people ages 14 to 94 to come up with this chart.

    While it doesn't specify the number of sex partners, you'll get another sense of where you rank. It shows the percentage of men and women who reported engaging in one of nine sexual behaviors in the previous year.

In other sex news, researchers have determined the most dangerous sex position.

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7 Places You Should Never, EVER Have Sex

We all have a few fun locales on our “oh, I’ve got to have sex here” list. The stairs, the back seat of the car, maybe even a public place or two. But, sorry to break it to you: Sex just shouldn’t happen in some places. And we don’t mean in an “ew, it’s creepy to get down in your parents’ bed” kind of way. Nope, in some places, sex can actually lead to UTIs, injuries, and little critters attached to your labia. Check out these seven spots—and then erase them from your sexy-time wish lists.

1. In the Car—While Driving

If you’re having sex in the car, it better be in park. According to a recent study of University of South Dakota students—published in the aptly named journal Accident Analysis and Prevention—33 percent of men and nine percent of women have participated in some sort of sexual activity, including vaginal sex, while driving. And, of those naughty-time drivers, more than a third said they were speeding, another third admitted to drifting from their lane, and 11 percent said they'd actually let go of the steering wheel. While, luckily, none of the students reported being in a crash, all you have to do is run a quick Google search to learn about the countless men who have gone to prison after their partners were ejected from the car due to mid-drive sex. Yikes.

2. On Sand

Sure, we’ve all dreamed of sex on the beach. In reality, though, the dream is much more like a sand-stuffed-up-your-hooha nightmare, says ob-gyn Alyssa Dweck, M.D., coauthor of V Is for Vagina. The possible results include pain, cuts, and infection. However, as long as you eliminate the chance of any sand-on-genital action, the beach can be a great spot to get it on. Try a super large blanket or a sand-free beach chair.

3. In the Woods

“During a hike, it’s tempting to sneak off for a little romp in the woods," says Dweck, "but you have more than poison ivy to worry about.” She says she’s removed countless ticks from countless women’s vulvas over the years. They can crawl up your legs without you even feeling it, plus they can transmit diseases such as Lyme disease and Rocky Mountain spotted fever. (And, FYI, poison ivy or oak on your nether region is worse than any yeast infection known to woman.)

4. In the Water

Okay, so this isn’t a hard-and-fast rule (get it?), but sex in the water is not safe or healthy for everyone. Not only are condoms apt to fall off in the water, but water can actually cause vaginal dryness, says Dweck. How? Water washes away your vagina’s natural lubricants, spurring dryness, increasing friction, and possibly leading to micro-abrasions and UTIs. If the water has salt or chlorine in it, you have even more risk for dryness and infection, while a pool that’s improperly chlorinated can be teeming with harmful bacteria, says Emily Morse, sexologist and host of the Sex with Emily podcast. If you experience vaginal dryness when you’re on dry land, you’d probably find a lot of discomfort in the water, says Dweck.

5. On a Balcony

In seems like it would be erotic and romantic, but it’s dangerous, says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., a Los Angeles-based sexologist. For instance, this summer, two international students died in London after falling off of a sixth-floor balcony, according to the BBC. According to witnesses, they were attempting to have sex on the banister. Stick with first-floor porches.

6. At the Office

“Unless you hate your job and are open to the idea of getting fired, there’s no need to risk it all by having sex at the office,” says Morse. While there’s always risk attached to sex at work (even if you have an office with a lock!) doing it in an oh-so-open cubicle is a disaster waiting to happen. Sure, you could get a great story out of sex on your work desk, but you could also torpedo your career and reputation.

7. Anywhere You Could Easily Get Caught—And in Legal Trouble

The risk is inherently exciting, but sometimes, the repercussions are a little too big, says Cadell. Even if you don’t see any surveillance cameras in a dressing room, you are still being recorded. And, if someone catches you sneaking in a quickie in public—whether it’s in a movie theater or library—you could get arrested and charged. While every state’s laws are a little bit different, most states consider sex in public a misdemeanor, which can end in everything from fees to jail time. Just this fall, one Florida couple got six months in jail after having sex in public, according to the Huffington Post. (FYI, they had reportedly snuck into the grounds of a retirement village to do the deed. Ew.)

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Sharing childcare 'improves sex lives' of couples

Sharing childcare makes for happier couples with better sex lives, US research suggests.
In a study of 487 families, parents who split childcare duties evenly reported greater satisfaction, both sexually and emotionally.
But in couples where the woman did most of the childcare, both men and women reported being less content.

The researchers said men doing a greater share of childcare did not have the same impact.
The conclusions have been drawn from a study called the 2006 Marital and Relationship Study, which was a survey into marriage and relationships among heterosexual couples.
Who does the childcare?
The data, being presented at a meeting of the American Sociological Association, shows that couples where the women performed more than 60% of childcare - specifically in terms of rule-making, praising and playing - fared the worst on scores of relationship satisfaction and conflict, as well as being less happy about the quality of their sex life.
The study leader, Dr Daniel Carlson, an assistant professor of sociology at Georgia State University, said: "One of the most important findings is that the only childcare arrangement that appears really problematic for the quality of both a couple's relationship and sex life is when the woman does most or all of the childcare."
The team found that fathers could in fact take on most or all of the childcare responsibilities without negatively affecting the quality of the couple's relationship.

The study did not look at who performed tasks such as feeding and bathing the children.

The academics are planning more research into why those couples with more equal childcare responsibilities seem to have better relationships.

"We are trying to understand what is it about sharing that couples view so positively," Dr Carlson added.
The 'new man'

Prof Sir Cary Cooper, an expert in organisational psychology and health at Manchester Business School, said the findings made sense, but they might reveal more about the kind of couples who shared their responsibilities.

"If you have a 'new' man who is happy to share childcare, he probably invests more in the relationship anyway," he said.

He added that it was becoming increasingly acceptable for men to opt for more flexible working and to take on more of the responsibility for family and domestic life.

"Increasingly there's a lot of pressure on men who wouldn't normally do that - the question is would that make a difference in the relationship. I think it could do."

The 487 couples in the study were selected at random and included low-to-moderate income couples who had children living with them and where the woman was under 45 years.

A total of 605 couples were interviewed, but the researchers only included in this study those where both partners had completed the full survey.

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Is your number of sex partners 'normal'? 5 ways to check

 

It's a most personal subject: the number of people you've slept with. Here are five ways to see if your number of partners is "normal."

   1. Use Slate's new interactive calculator.
     It aims to tell you if the number of people you've slept with is "a lot." You plug in your age, gender, and the number of sex partners you've had since the age of 18, and, voila, you'll see where you "stack up" against the rest of the population.

    The questionnaire is short and sweet, letting people decide on their own what to define as a sexual encounter. Calculate your number here.

    2.Compare your college self to a Harvard student: As it does annually, the Harvard Crimson surveyed the school's graduating seniors, and found the following: 58% started their freshman year as a virgin; 21% had sex for the first time as a freshman, and 24% had no sex while at Harvard.

    As for the number of partners, 19% of men and 7% of women had 10 or more during their college career.

    3.Check out your generation's average: A recent study in the Archives of Sexual Behavior crunched 40 years of sexual data from more than 33,000 Americans.

    It projects that millennials—those born between 1982 and 1999—will have sex with about eight different partners in their lifetime, behind Gen Xers with 10, and baby boomers with 12.

    4.Consult the CDC: It's a little outdated, but its website shares data from the National Health Statistics Report published in 2012, including the "number of sexual partners in the past 12 months." The most recent range specified is 2006-2010.

    Men had an average of 3.9 to women's 1.8; partners with whom the respondent had vaginal, oral, or anal sex were counted.

    5.Look at this chart: The 2010 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior, which was conducted by Indiana University researchers, was self-described as "one of the most comprehensive" sex studies "in almost two decades." It looked at the sex habits of 5,865 people ages 14 to 94 to come up with this chart.

    While it doesn't specify the number of sex partners, you'll get another sense of where you rank. It shows the percentage of men and women who reported engaging in one of nine sexual behaviors in the previous year.

In other sex news, researchers have determined the most dangerous sex position.

Read more »